With empty hands.

My Dad has a nickname for me; it's busy-bee. You see, I'm good at staying busy. Busy-ness is not the same thing as being productive, and when it comes down to it, it simply isn't healthy. It creates this unbalance in my life and it's taking its toll on me. For the last several weeks I have been running from one thing to the next and when I do have a free moment at home I'm spending my time looking at time-wasting things online (facebook or blogs, anyone?). Instead of feeling truly connected with people I'm left feeling overwhelmed.

I wonder how much of this is attributed to our non-stop American culture that says to get ahead or fit it all in you can only sleep 5.5 hours per night because you simply have too much going on in your life for anything more. When I was working two jobs working very hard to make a goal happen it was a luxury to sleep more than 6 hours a night. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. Thankfully, that part of my life is behind me (hopefully forever). When I was in Africa last year it struck me that I liked being so disconnected from constant technology and was able to live more simply.

I'm being gently nudged that the time to rest has come. And, as much as I have been kicking and screaming to avoid this from happening it has come to the point where nothing sounds better than a vacation from the busy-ness of my every day life. Who wants to live with that thought?

I've been contemplating giving up facebook during Lent as a way to free up some time and let go of the hold that it has over me. Just in writing these words I've decided that my actions need to go a step further to address the actual problem instead of a symptom. I'm not entirely sure what that will look like, but I think it is time for me to release some things I've been holding onto. After all, someone once said that you can't receive anything new from God until you're holding out empty hands for God to fill them.

Here, God, are my empty hands for only you to fill.