Momma said...

...there'd be days like this.

Confessions of an almost 30 year old single woman:
Most of the time I enjoy my independence. I don’t have to check someone else’s schedule if I want to have an impromptu dinner with a friend or take a road trip on a whim or buy a cute pair of new shoes or eat the last of the ice cream. I have the freedom to quit my job and move to Africa right now (though, the planner side of me starts to freak out). Seriously, life is pretty good. But, I gotta be honest:

Some days are hard.

Today is one of those days for no particular reason. Or maybe there is a reason that’s been building up since the last time I let the confession reach the surface.

My checklist of the ideal mate has evolved over the last decade since I sure have learned a lot about life and about love, especially watching other couples navigate what is surely the most difficult and rewarding relationship one can have on earth.

Ultimately what it comes down to is I want someone to know me and to love me in spite of myself.

I want him to challenge me when I want to avoid the situation and run away. I want him to make me laugh as we dance through life together. I want him to hold me when things are hard and remind me that he isn’t going anywhere. I want him to give our kids piggyback rides through the house and make sand castles with them on the beach. I want him to see how hard I’m trying, how much I care. I want him to love people in an incredibly generous way with gentleness and gracefulness. I want him to build our family up in prayer knowing that Christ binds us together. I want to feel the warmth of his love. I want him to be full of integrity. I want him to seek justice and advocate for those that have no voice. I want him to know that this is a commitment, one that’s gonna involve some hard work and probably some slammed doors and tears every once in awhile. I want him to know that it’s worth it.

Oh, and I want him to kiss me. A lot.