Do they have cake in heaven?

Every time I see a butterfly it reminds me of you, of your smile and of your joy. Sometimes I'm overcome with sadness and sometimes I simply smile. You touched lives, my dear. And, your absence is felt by many. My heart aches to hear your voice. I miss the phone calls where you would sing to me, where you would share in day's events and you showed me you cared. I miss your singing. It didn't matter where you were; you used music as your way to connect to people. I still laugh when I think about the time we were trying to relate to inner city Chicago kids and you started singing, "I whip my hair back and forth." To me you seemed fearless. Oh, I know you had your moments and you would tell me otherwise but I always admired your boldness.


I miss the way you would force me to listen to your latest favorite tune. We'd go for a drive and you'd say, "Oh my gosh, Dana, you have got to hear this!" I miss seeing you in that little red toyota. You know, the one that had a backseat filled with CDs, clothes, and other random things; I can almost hear it's sound now. It breaks my heart to know that you're never going to pull up my street and pick me up, that we'll never go on another road trip. I miss our girl nights, concocting interesting drinks and talking late into the night. A few weeks ago when I said goodbye to my old house I sobbed because I knew we wouldn't be able to make new memories together in my new house.


I miss the way you would call me out on stuff. You got straight to the point and it was often exactly what I needed to hear. You're the friend that would call me at 2am to tell me about the night you just had or if you had a "crazy" story to tell me, and you had quite a few of those. And, if I ever needed you in the middle of the night you were the one I would turn to. You were the sister I never had and always wanted. My kids were supposed to call you Aunt Christine. We were supposed to grow old together and be those crazy old ladies that know far too much about the other and love each other anyway.


I am so thankful for the 13 years of friendship we shared. We were pretty much instantly friends. You kept my secrets and I kept yours. You loved my family and I loved yours. You loved me in spite of my flaws and I did too. I didn't realize true friendship was so hard to come by, but now that you're gone I know that the cliche is true.


So, tell me, do they have cake in heaven? Have a piece for me. Happy day of your birth, my darling Christine. I miss you more than I can even express.

All my love,
Dana

upside down and around

It's a good thing I don't get paid to keep my blog updated. It's been almost 10 full months since I've updated and while I've thought about it from time to time and even had free time to update I just couldn't do it. Maybe it's because I wasn't sure where to begin. Some pretty wonderful people have walked in to my life and a very wonderful friend has left this world, but not my heart. Even typing that brings tears to my eyes. Life is full of joy and sadness, of love and loneliness, of darkness and light and I'm incredibly blessed with such an abundant life.

freely and lightly

My church, Crossroads, is going through the Strong Challenge. I have to admit that I haven't been putting as much time and effort in as I had planned. One of the challenges this week was to memorize a passage of scripture. There were a few choices given, though I'm sure you could just pick your own. Of the four, one really stuck out to me; it was Matthew 11:26-30.

These verses aren't new to me; I've read them several times before but they still seem to impact me. Maybe that's because I haven't really let the words sink into my heart. I'm not sure, but either way I've decided to tackle this passage and commit the words to memory.

I chose The Message version of the Bible because it seems so fresh and breathes new life into this passage: "Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on Religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me-watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."

Don't you just love that? I want to soak it all up. Yes, I'm worn out. Yes, I want you to show me how to take a real rest. I want to learn the unforced rhythms of grace. Show me how to live freely and lightly. Sign me up for that, Jesus.

check and check

A little update on the 30 before 30 list 30 while 30 list.

#9: Go on a hike
On a beautiful morning in August some friends and I ventured to Mt. Airy Forest for a quick hike. We had a blast trekking through the woods and getting away from the noise. The best part was finding a treehouse at our turnaround point.

#10: Go on a blind date
Surprise. So, this was kind of unexpected and it wasn't the typical blind date, but I'm counting it. A longtime family friend randomly texted me to ask if I was dating anyone. I wasn't. So, she said that she had a single guy friend in my age range that she'd like me to meet. My response, "sure, why not." Seriously, people.

How'd it go, you ask? It was fine. Fine is being nice. While he's a guy with some good qualities I definitely felt like we would never work.

I'm marking this off my list, but I'd still be up for giving this another shot.

fifty words or less

I realized the other day that my profile/blog description is now outdated as I am no longer a twenty-something. It makes me wonder what has changed in the last five or so years since I created that little blurb.

My life was in a good place five years ago, surrounded by community and deep friendships. My nieces and nephew adored me. It was not without struggle, though. I'm wondering if I'd rather go back five years and do it all over again or if I'm glad that I'm on this side of thirty.

It doesn't really matter, I suppose, because I can't actually go back in time.

rubber meets the road...

It's official: I'm thirty. Three-oh. XXX. Three decades.

How am I feeling, you ask? Well, to be honest, there have been a roller coaster of emotions lately but when I stop to think about the life I have I sense how incredibly blessed I am. "Blessed" is sometimes a hokey word, but it really is the word that describes what I'm feeling.

I'm guessing you're wondering about how I did on my list. Funny thing...I stopped caring along the way, or at least stopped caring as much, probably because I knew there was no way I could get done everything I had planned to do.

Anyway, here's the updated list, with updates in bold and/or crossed off:
1. Take a spontaneous road trip.
2. Pass the Series 7 Exam.
3. Lose 30 additional pounds.
4. Grow some of my own food.
5. Splurge on myself by buying something solely because I love it.
6. Host a game night.
7. Learn to bake bread from scratch.
8. Take some modeling photos.
9. Go on a hike.
10. Go on a blind date.
11. Invest in creating community.
12. Put pen to paper and express my love for someone. Mail the letter.
13. Be kind to someone that has caused me pain.
14. Grow in my forgiveness of x. Somehow, without warning or effort, this has happened.
15. Take my nieces and nephew somewhere fun.
16. Commit to reading my Bible often.
17. Volunteer with an organization that I care about.
18. Create tree painting for my living room.
19. Take a dance class.
20. Cook an entire "from scratch" dinner.
21. Train Whisper. He's kind of trained.
22. Blog at least once a month. This barely happened. It felt like an obligation a few times, but I made it. I wish I put more effort in to blogging b/c I actually like writing down my thoughts and being able to go back to read them later.
23. Enjoy the sunrise over the Ohio, or somewhere more glamorous.
24. Travel somewhere new. Isle of Palms, SC! It was gorgeous. There's a whole post about it in my head...hopefully it will make it to this page sometime soon.
25. Jog a mile. I have fallen off the proverbial wagon...time to jump back on.
26. Finish CD gift for my brothers that I started a long time ago. Ooops.
27. Use the envelope system again. I have the best of intentions. I'm half-heartedly doing the envelope system.
28. Change the Game. Live it. Some days are better than others, but it's small steps in the right direction.
29. Get a tattoo. Maybe. I'm kind of a wimp when it comes to pain.
30. Celebrate my 30th birthday. Enjoy it. Live it out.

Eleven out of thirty. Not quite what I was shooting for, but I'll take it. I'm thinking about rolling over all the unfinished items into a new list.

I'm going to end with this quote because it makes me happy and helps me realize that success is not in the checking off of boxes but in the everyday moments. Goodbye twenties; hello thirties, I'm ready for you, this is going to be good...

"To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children…to leave the world a better place…to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded." – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Take me out to the ball game

Ball game is apparently two separate words or one separated by a hyphen. Who knew!? I'm officially crossing #15 off my list since I finally have the pictures on my computer to prove it.

We had gorgeous weather for the game and the kids were so excited! It was their first MLB baseball game and I'm so glad I was able to take them. They were really good. Okay, there was a little melt down because I wouldn't let them get both cotton candy AND snow cones. I feel no guilt, though, since I told them the rules up front. I almost caved. I can now understand why parents do. Seriously....they have cute little faces and you love 'em to pieces and all they want is a snow cone to make them happy.

Ryleigh is a little cuddle bug and hung on me the whole time. I didn't mind...I'm treasuring these little hugs for as long as I can get them. Scottie tried to be all independent, especially since he was the only boy in our group. And, Makayla showed a little bit of some sassiness, but I think she really enjoyed herself. I'd be lying if I said that it's hard to realize how much they're growing up. It's the epitome of bittersweetness. I adore them, but I'm afraid they'll want me around less and less in their lives and the thought of that kind of breaks my heart. Ahem (pull yourself together, Dana).

I love this first photo. We saw Rosie Red and the kids were super excited about it and I wasn't about to miss a photo op. So, we ran over to greet Rosie and even though she was motioning that she had to go up the stairs I managed to snap two quick photos.

The next photo was not long after the snow cone melt down and on our way back to the car. See, no one's crying so I totally think that's a WIN (which is good considering we got totally stomped by the Pirates. Boo.)

#15 is officially crossed off. :)