Saying it out loud...

While we were in Mamelodi my friend Devon was relaying a story to me about a woman and a dream that she had that included doing something radical and new in her life. She told her friend to continue to say it out loud and tell people about it because that would make it more real, more attainable, less scary. Okay, so some of those might not have been her words exactly, but they were the words I took away from her story and what is incredibly relevant right now.

It’s been just over three months since I’ve been back from Mamelodi. If you’re looking from the outside you might not notice much has changed in my life, but I can tell you that it’s been a bit of a whirlwind and I’m on the cusp of some very big changes. I’m excited. I’m terrified. I’m hopeful. I’m uncertain. God’s bigger than all my hopes and He’s certainly bigger than all my fears.

Through the course of a conversation with a friend I blurted out that I would be doing missions full time if money didn't matter (and other fears didn't hold me back). I say blurted out because that is essentially what happened. It's the first time I ever admitted to myself or to anyone else verbally what I think I've been desiring for probably the better part of the last ten years. My immediate reaction was both emotionally and spiritually freeing. I had been holding this in for so long, not even fully aware because I had put so many other things in the way of this that I didn't think it was even possible.

The next step, as far as I can see right now, is to start doing some volunteering while looking for opportunities in the non-profit world. Ideally, I'd love to work with World Vision or CARE or similar organization, especially those that partner with Africa.

There's a lot more to this story, but I wanted to go ahead and say it all out loud and then I'll come back and fill in on all the details.

God's shaking up my world and when I surrender to what He has in store I find that it is exhilarating and even better than I could have imagined.